Suicidal smile

It all began with a smile, suicidal one.

A nice ride, back to one. (:

It leaves me hanging somewhere, or nowhere.

I hope the time never comes to bid goodbye.

* * *
Explanation? sweet
but at the same time, what does it mean?

-suspense-

I hope everyday can be the same though
I know that day will eventually come. (:

I just like it that way..

明天我不会依然爱你

为了你再笨的事我都肯做
却还是在你心里锦屏末座
我成全你的追求
有没有让你心动
反而一看见我就想要逃走
于是我更努力的付出更多
为什么却尽让你日渐消瘦
脸上不再有笑容
烦恼比快乐还多
我突然明白自己犯了大错
想给你所有的爱 最后却多得太多
想证明自己的爱 最后却让你难过
原谅我 明天你不会再看见我
你说我爱你
却没认真替的你想过
我拼命付出
却没问过你想要什么
没有我
或许你反而会更好过

于是我更努力的付出更多
为什么却渐让你日渐消瘦
脸上不再有笑容
烦恼比快乐还多
我突然明白自己犯了大错

想给你所有的爱
最后却多得太多
想证明自己的爱
最后却让你难过
原谅我
明天你不会再看见我
我说我爱你
却没认真替的你想过
我拼命付出
却没问过你想要什么
没有我
或许你反而会更好过

都已经决定要离开的时候
却还是忍不住
又回过了头
你并明天抬起头
完全没有在看我
明天我不会在说我爱你了

Staying out

WEEEEEEEEEE ok (i guess) i really am hyper. =DD

Fri 28th
It was cultural night. & good thing there is no work for me today. Met up Shuna & Carrot (Weishan). Headed to Shuna's house and saw loads of interesting pics. Heh heh. Shuna is prettier 4/5 years back. Thanks for the lunch, it was nice. (: Had fruits and bused+trained to Aljunied. ZZzz the street directory state that it was 7 stops from the station. We overshot and landed in Balestier. The bus drivers all wear shades & are rather hepful! =D Collected my skinfood moisturizer.

*Joke of the day*
XW: I wanna drink milkshake.
nahnah: Where got MOS?
WS: Clark Quay
: =.=
: MOS (burger)

hahaha

xiaozhu & his dear

she din let us eat, and have the WHOLE pot to herself!
jkjk~~ =P

slippers or heels? x.X

Mos burger for "dinner" at 5pm. =D Then trained down SP. Saw many familiar faces & juniors. It was good to see the little kiddos that used to call me ah ma. They're now sec4s already, how fast. Caught up w Qinghui, my sweetest dew. (:

Overall, the concert was good. I'm really impressed by choir. They sang 4songs. I really felt really proud of 'em and wish I was part of 'em. =D

Sat/Sun 29th-30th

Day out w J & L. Met up L and waited for J to come. J was super-duper-ultra-early. Trained down and went MS to look for J's gift for her darling junior and she got thebrownTOUFU! I had a similar bigger version one. Next L look for his clothes but in vain, he's too NOT fussy. Then we went over to Suntec. For what? BODYSHOP warehouse sales of coz. The queue is short de LOR! We went to buy donuts, curry puffs and the so-yucky-yummy-licious bbtea before joining the queue. Went in & grabbed a shopping bag and we're ready to snatch for the products. Awwww it was very packed and squeezy de lo. J & L behave like some typical Singaporean and demostrated the aunty spirit. Our bag is filled within a short while.

mine

Queued for zillion seconds/min/hr and we settled the payment. We spend a total of over 200bucks & I was the top spender since I'm a fan of bodyshop. Followed by L with 72 then J 40+. They are in love w Bodyshop also! WHEEEEEEE B-O-D-Y-S-H-O-P~ We've save nearly 600bucks as the sales say UP to 70% savings. We're so happy we save 600bucks.

L will make a good husband for girls as he share the same mentality w US. So if the wife buy things at GSS, he will go like: "WOW, u save $____K :D" instead of "what the, u max the credit card limit! -.-"

Dinner at Olio.

fish&chips

ribeye steak

chocolate banana

mango mousse

mini cheesecakes

I had an impromptu suggestion- T.O.N. & yeah we headed to Esplanade to find S and chit chat. Then headed Grand Cathay for movie- Shutter. Bought tix for 2.10am. J wanna try buying Vodka to see if they check her IC. -_______-" They didn't. Ok so she gave me the whole bottle and I had to finish myself. We chilled & talk aLOT. Funny stuffs, serious topics. Family, future husband/wife, prostitute, etc. It was great talk!

The movie is not really that scary. But stupid Lee who was beside me keep -________-" act the scare. LOL!

Rot and went over PS to continue to rot. WEEEEEE me and L was high bt J was like going to her lalaland already and couldn't be bothered w us and our nonsense.

"I LOVE TO ZI LIAN!"

Armless da xia?

unwanted/abandoned

Trained back to JP, on the way back we are behaving like some MADpeople, laughing non-stop... Had HOTCAKES w sausage. It was very painful eating hotcakes when we keep irritate each other. I just can't swallow can.

Headed home, bathed, slept 3hrs or so, headed out w sis. Ate sweet frog (tian ji) porridge and started shopping. 2 dresses (tops) at 47bucks, flip flops.

It was a fun weekend. Continuous 3days out. xD

AWWWW back to work. 5 more days (hopefully). MQ coming back, hope it's not april fool's joke. HAHA.
2more weeks to school reopen. =(

ENJOY people before school starts
& those jc kiddos, mug hard for ur tests!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ =)

Student? Admin Assistant? Both

Another day where all the BS students can go crazy refreshing the page, in hope to get their desired modules. The system went bonkers & psychology is full! I ended up with 2 communication modules.

Basic Conversational Spanish
In this module, you will learn the Spanish alphabet, grammar structure, system of counting as well as forms of greeting. You will also gain an understanding of the world’s Spanish-speaking countries, their cultures and their people.

Perspectives on China
This module explores modern China by looking at the country’s history, people and culture. You will discover the principles behind typical Chinese customs through experiential learning, for example, tea brewing and tasting, visiting a martial arts centre and learning about Chinese herbal medicines. You will also be introduced to classical books and learn to appreciate Chinese management practices. The module is not open to international students from China.

Hopefully I will get the most out of these 2 modules, speaking in spanish will sound cool right? Absolutely. & same timetable w Belle for Mon-Fri. (:

* * * * * *

It's OFF day tml! Wheeee. Love 10 for continuing w e job for one more week. ^^ Coz she dun bear to leave me alone. So sweet of her yeah.

I think my colleagues at work are damn hilarious can. Always make me laugh till... 10 oso cannot take it. LOL! Then today after nearly 4weeks (a mth) then got TALK to the attachment guy from SP. That joker keep insisting I "diao" him whenever he pass by my table since he's only beside me. Talk to him can really dunno wanna cry/laugh but he's quite a funny dude. Made him do things for me since he always threw whatever he compile to me for checking. WAHAHA!

* * * * * *

BODYSHOP warehouse sales
27-30 Mar (Thurs-Sun)
11am-8pm at Suntec Convention Centre.
Savings is up to 70%!!!

Updates again on weekends.
Will be quite interesting posts I guess. =DD

Perfect life

Mood has been exceptionally good this week. :D Be it at work, or life.

* * * * * *

10 (Yiling) joined me @ work on Monday. It was really good because I need not trained alone all the way from Boon Lay to Bugis, no more lunching alone, great food for breakfast & lunch and most importantly great company because we can hit off quite well. She can make me laugh real hard at some of the things she say. Tsk dun be deceived by looks, she's quite ... Haha! The way she cross the road is also damn hiong.

I was damn damn damn sleepy on one of the days. I can practically close my eyes every few seconds & wake. I hate the feeling. I hate the beehoon I had for lunch. Tsktsk.

I was sorting the softwares and hardwares. There are tons of CDs and I had to climb ladder to get them down from the top shelf. & the CDs came showering down. LOL! Luckily they are not in those kinda hard casing, in paper. If not... Hmmmm you will see me landing opposite my workplace, Raffles Hospital. A kindsoul came to save me by helping me pick em up. (: Thanks SiewFen. & there's still boxes on the 1st shelf which are not cleared. Luckily she say ask Jasper to do the job or I'll faint sia. About 3.5m to 4m from the ground, how to reach? ._."

Oh ya I was made to wrap corporate gifts. Another kind soul Cathy offered to help me wrapped, I just needa cut the paper into the appropriate size. (:

Ms Loo is also nice to treat us Old Chang Kee. We also help ourselves to the yummy choco & drinks in the pantry. Like working in heaven~

* * * * * *

Mon 17/03
Met up buddy after work. I thought it's only the 2 of us, qiuping & yanmei came along too. (: Nice to see the gals after quite some time. Dined at Fish&Co. Had fish&chips and dessert. Joking, crapping and catching up on life. Oolong Tea. xD Weeee a great way to spend a day after work w my gals. No Monday blues. Buddy suggested we should meet up every Fri next time for dinners. Definitely agree w her that friendship needs commitment to keep it strong like now. Isn't it amazing that I knew 'em since pri sch and till now we're still so close. (: It makes me proud to have a handful of close buds' from pri sch.











* * * * * *

Tue 18/03
It was the day where BS students had to fight for their timetables. Met the gals online to discuss the various timetables and we settled w a few. So when the clock hit 3.30, I got into the class we had in mind. However the gals had problem logging into NPAL. Stupid system. So I helped Val to log in hers. Belle also had prob. So I logged in hers but that cls was gone so she landed up elsewhere. ~~ It was like OMG-what-to-do situation. I just keep refreshing and in the end, we still managed to get into the same class. =D Cheers~ & also helped cs pick his timetable T_T he dun even noe he need to choose on the day. Haha!

Fri 21/03
GOOD FRIDAY~ Weeeeeee. Good food day again. Met up gals for lunch @ Nihon Mura. Conquered Curry Udon, tempura, bacon mushroom, rose tea & 23plates of sushi. Headed to see Jaycie at kiwi's place. Awww now she can sit up w support from others le. Headed over to ping's house t play cards. Then viwawa. I'm so hooked up by viwawa can. Facebook was hot, followed by Viwawa?

the plates of sushi that we conquered

Hi, I'm niu meh!
I'm a niu niu who looks like meh meh, that's why I'm niuMEH.

look what they did to my hair. xw twohill?

Heh. We're quite ON & we decided to catch midnight movie.

Headed home to change, pick up jacket before heading down JP. Bought tickets. Chilled out at Mac. Popcorns and guess what, I caught Rule #1 for the second time. I managed to see all the scenes that I din saw the previous time. Still sends shivers down my spine. Finally I understood the ending. I sat between the gals and they keep jabbing me. RAHHHH~ We walked to ping's house from JP, all the way to the stadium. Saw a guy running damn fast and it scared us. Zzz~

Stayed over.

We chatted all the way from 1plus to 4plus before KO. It was nice as we had so many topics, from O school days to kids to controversial politics to school to airplanes to China to ... random trival stuff. Felt really good & I learn quite alot from them actually. Especially on the Taiwan election. I wanna get into NUS biz sch! So that I can join 'em after I grad from NP. I will try my best to pull up my gpa to enter that school that everyone else will wanna enter. Kinda motivated by them to enter U.

* * * * * *

XiaoQing shifted. She called me when I'm on the way home. =)

Returned home & found a letter lying on bed from SPH.
Weeeee won something again from TEENS. Lucky or LUCKY? Some skinfood product. (:

Yeah uncle is nice nowadays.
He offered to pay for my bill. xD

Notice Me
A nice O' song I've always like.

Happy 18th Birthday Jazzrel! =D
smile always su dong! n.n

I'm done. What a SHORT post yeah. =P
Rainy days is always good to sleep in. =]
Enjoy the weekend & it's back to 9-6 for me.

p/s. Life is really that beautiful.

Have you ever wonder if you make a difference?

Sometimes have you wonder whether your presence will make any difference to the surroundings; the people around you?

I do often ponder over such silly questions.

My buddies and family definitely make a difference in my life!
They complete me. (:

MEIQIN takecare & have fun in China k! :D
Awaiting for ur return on April's Fool, hope that's not a joke! & dun miss us so much! ( though I know u will! )

Life is all about study, work & enjoying life w family/friends.

Early in the morn, acc my uncle to Harvey Norman to purchase lappy. I randomly pick one within mins.

Went down NP w Jazz ytd to settle her lappy configuration & stuff. FINALLY had Yong Tau Foo after like so long. (: Bused back to JP & I hate dragonfly esp when they fly about on the bus! Caught Rule #1. Not as scary as I thought, but I must say some scenes really sent shivers down my spine. Brrrrrrr~ & yeah, NEVER ASSUME. Hah! Jazz let out a very SOFT yell when the ghost suddenly pop out. I guess she's the only one. =X

Felt kinda bad towards MQ. =/ Caused you to waste money.

Mos burger for dinner.
& the topic for the night was all about s.e.x. LOL!
(p.s. Don't assume, you'll never know!)

Bought the bodyshop facewipe & one perfume.
Paid only 2bucks. Rebates & vouchers. =)

Wu Bai (500) songs can be very high.
"Ooooh ohhhh 你是我的花朵~"
do give this song a consideration for mass dance next year! xD


Reply to tags
Cheryl: HELLO XD Long time no see. Yeah you'll see me in classroom soon!

Meng Kui: Sure! Takecare also (:

Jazz: Somewhere far faraway, maybe heaven.

Belle: Yeah but is before I sick. Takecare eh, now u're sick! (put up tagboard on ur blog!)

Fe: Yeah new fone! (: Thanks, Superhero on the way to recovery. Weeee.

That's all I guess. Will heed the advice to switch to cbox instead since it's always causing my page to load very slowly or whatever.

Alright shall glue my eyes to youtube for now.

p/s. Craving for mudpie & seafood now. Awwww~

Sunday evening

IT fair

8th
Met up w PeiYi & headed down to Suntec. It's the BIG event, IT show for this March. I swear the traffic there is worst than the million toto draw. It was like damn squeezy and packed w people. Yes, we still managed to get to the starhub booth (!!!)

Was deciding between K850i & W890i.

the W890i Walkman phone
a slim, stylish device with 2GB music storage capacity
& integrated 3.2-megapixel camera.
more about w890i

Now I'm the proud owner of this phone. =DD

Oh ya, the place was people mountain people sea, the queue can form a line from Pasir Ris to Boon Lay. Waited around an hr plus before it's my turn. THANKS my dear PY for waiting w me & also my uncle who came down. Felt really bad to let people wait w me.

and yeah $40 Robinsons voucher, from Starhub. (: (:

Next up, headed t Swensens to have dinner. Weeeeeee.

her Fish & Chips

my Half BBQ chicken

choco.fondue *loves*

We were the last customer to leave. It is my first time dinning in till the store closes. Haha! Really enjoyed her company & girl let's chill out again soon yeah! :D

9th
Met up Xiaoqing t have lunch & watched movie- The Leap Year. No comments. We didn't cry, & I am wondering why others can cry a bucket of tears out?

LOL! -_________________-"

10th
Work till around 1pm & took half day to see doc. Felt much better & refreshed after medication & a nice nap. But I still have difficulties talking, I sound real manly. I wonder how to buy lunch w my sexy voice, perhaps I will scare the people. Hah!

p/s. I gonna catch Rule #1.
Do you have the guts to watch it?

Little superhero

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Sick

Shucks~
Falling sick due to the weather & the aircon blasting at me during work. Nose block, feverish & throat is getting infectious? It's always the same old problem over these years. I never fail to fall sick every year.

I don't wanna see a doctor, hopefully.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
I rather have one whole basket of apples now.

* * * * * *

Work is getting more tedious.
INVENTORIES. Yes, checking stocks in the database & the records is killing all my brain cells. From A - Z on the list, I only manage to clear A to C in one day. So I guess I will take week or so to finish the whole pile.

& one more thing, I forgot about my fone yesterday and left it charging at home. I'm quite slow to realise that only when I reached out to search my bag on the train. Been feeling quite wierd w/o fone the whole day.

But I've learnt to be more independent, going out to buy lunch w/o being on fone w anyone.

I am those who cannot go out alone! -______________-" Too dependent on others. Must kick the bad habit.

Had Yonoshiya & the take away container is quite pretty & cute! =)

* * * * * *

Sis receive the notification to buy her lappy next week. Awwww FUJITSU came up with quite a few attractive lappy. The price wise also quite reasonable. Hopes she does not flick & buy acer.

* * * * * *

& YAY changing fone, like FINALLY.
Stuck with the current fone for quite some time already. Either LG KU990 Viewty or Sony Ericsson K850i, unless I see more attractive fone of course. (:





Really damn excited.

Oh I realised I've been updating almost on every alternate days. Heh!

afew.words&aheartwarming.smile (:

The good O' days

Recalling those days in fuhua, the very 1st day we landed our feet in the campus, memories just came flooding back. From totally complete strangers to friends & some even besties. It was like WOW. It has been quite some time since I graduated. I realised time flew real fast. I took the juniors in choir when I was sec3, they are only sec1. Now they are already sec4 taking Os this year.

Am I ageing?
Yes, definitely.


* * * * * *
Somehow I missed the times when we have sectionals & combined.

Somehow I missed the days we stayed back in sch on Fridays doing nothing much.

Somehow I missed the food in the canteen, the friendly uncle who sells curry noodles & his smiles (he's not around anymore ...) .

Somehow I missed the good o' days wearing uniform w tie on wed.

Somehow I missed the times we tried to throw our ties out of class to juniors when msEK was so damn pissed w us.

Somehow I missed Betty's screamings : "shUTTTTTTT UP" & then the unwanted stares from opposite classrm. Quite malu.

Somehow I missed the difficult times how I struggled in sciences & AMATHS esp.
RayLow said to me that he's disappointed in my test marks (p.s. I studied for the wrong topics) that made me teared.

There are so many somehow(s) ...

走进院子里 昨天的回忆
如今随着花儿慢慢凋零

* * * * * *

There is a point why suddenly I talked about sec sch. Interlinked with what I am typing in the later part of the entry. So emotional in the earlier part, totally off from what I am gonna type now.

Msn-ed w Monster, Siya after lunchbreak today till she knocked off. We are like so BUSY la. Spending hours busy typing, but the fact is nothing to do except pai chang ying. Knew alot Mr Monster also. I think I was quite high on drugs today. Keep um chio myself while chatting w her. Lol! The office peeps must be thinking why I so NORMAL ba.

Something just came to mind, SEC1 ORIENTATION! The oh-so-a-lil-dumb-&-paiseh cheers. Chigucha cheer & the OI OI thingy. Quite dumb to get so hyper over them, but I think it's damn ......... But I must agree that the orientation was memorable till now. Deep impact. Hur hur.. xD

AKM my pri sch fren msn-ed me & told me he's in np. I really hope he wun sneak and strangle me.

Recruit Express called me yesterday, they said it was hard to contact me. Hah! They got job lobang for me, but I already have one. Hah seems like the lobangs like to come in only after I gotten a job.

12星座女生最介意的事情?
I'm quite into horoscope. Quite true for Aquarius I think.


On a sidenote,
WOOHOOOOO IT'S FRIDAY IN JUST A FEW HOURS!
I lost track of time & still thought that today is Weds till XQ told me. lol!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL TAKING THEIR As results TML! ESP MY DEAREST monster, FANQIE & fellow choir peeps. =DD

fading&distant smile

Homecoming Day

Homecoming was ...
Full of lengthy speeches, performances, luckydraw (only shuna won ntuc vouchers), the "buffet".. But hey I guess it's the people you are with that makes it F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. Caught up w the gals, really long time nv see 'em. Played cards. Had a very sumptuous meal. Then it was cards again. More peek-tures? Refer to Shuna & Jazzrel.

Show you all a sneak preview of Fuhua Teachers'09;

p.s. If you get any of the "teachers" above, good luck! But, they are not that bad actually. =]
& can u guess what the 1st teacher from e left teach? HAHA! PE -.-"

Back to office ...
9 - 6pm
Like some typical working adults now.

Yeah so I'm stuck with the oh-so-boring admin/data entry job @ Bugis - Parkview Sq, till this week at least April. My mentor just asked if I had any other assignment after this week, I said NO so she got me to continue w the job. Awwww. Some consultant from Success just called & asked if I'm interested in admin job @ Commonwealth. WHY NOW THEN RING ME UP?? Haha (!!!) =/

However my job quite slack, I can sit there & daydream but the money still roll into my pocket. =DD Lunch hour is also like extended to 1.5hr or more. The only bad thing is I have to stare at the data till my eyes pop out like goldfish! Hah!

Now I lunch alone everyday, kinda sad. HINT HINT***
So please drop by B-U-G-I-S & lunched w me. =)

But got really nice, friendly colleagues there. (The working peeps there are very gentlemen oso, bump into a few at work) Office wear :D

The pantry there is superb. Chocos, sweets, whatever edible can be found. Just had a choco w wine in it today. Kinda tipsy & I can't focus on what I'm doing. =S Lol! Went thru' 3pieces of A3 size paper w more than 270 customers&details. The fonts are so HUGE that they look like ants man. =/

On the first day
had Blisters, blisters & more blisters. =(
I don't like heels.

It's kinda difficult for me to wake @ 7am to get ready for work. Weather nowadays is so freaking cold. Brrrrrr~ Blanket is a must at bed and shawl/cardigan for work.

Alright it's back to work again tml, so friends who are jobless, enjoy your holidays~ =) Those working, earn big bucks and go shop till you drop & broke after getting pay. =DD Giving baoc a miss since I have work commitments.

Results will be out next Fri, 14th. Keep my fingers cross till then.

Totally falling for the suicidal sweet smile
oh my :D