i took da brave step.
took me some time b4 i did.

its back to normal le..

rmb ar. zq`jy!!
ziqian junyang!! =))

hope nth liddat will happen yeah? ^^
now feeling better le. happy soul~

FULL!
the only word i can tink of. -_-''
thanks to my evil pals; casper da duck`paul`kk

-honey milk tea
-chips
-white choco mix coffee?
-strawberry sticks
-shrooms meal
-SPRITE!
-curry potato

read on to noe more? =X

. sunday 3010`05 .
wad a fine sunday n went out wib my best long lost buddy, casper [darcie] ! n she called me birdie? she da snoopy denn i woodstock? -_-'' ghost n bird good fren. been some time b4 catchin up her. so met near my hse de b`stop. same routine. buy bb tea at boon lay. saw sb along da wae. we denn happily walk to jp. craps n tok rubbish along da wae. she's crazy! keep laughin. loiter ard jp n again walked to je. bought chips at ntuc b4 our journey started. its far! we took a shorter route le. last time we used to walk thru da whole jw denn turn n turn b4 reachin.

*sweats* weather is HOT! damn. talk bout our results. well she goin poly? made a a pact to meet at ngee ann poly! yeah after Os. my fav word is "say one more time" n she ll repeat "one more time". hers is "nvm" taught her chi since she so "pro" da ren you da liang n she keep sayin. lol. walked passed chi garden de station n bought white choco mixed kopi? we 2 cant finish one cup. haha. finally we REACHED! cheers. so we boarded 97. alighted at telok blangah which ghost had prob to pronounce. i keep suan-ing her. took 408 to labrador park coz no place to hang out.

it was both sunny + cooling. good weather. sure sunburn again. da land breeze cool. went to da far end where i nv explore b4. ate da strawberry sticks dere. went to da jetty. lookin at sceneries n talk. it was lyk 4plus le. we decide to leave. saw paul n kk. sms me wan hab dinner together ma so we okay nor. denn decide on je. we lyk strangers initially. but nice thing bout em is they will wait ferr us.

had shrooms meal. ate finish le denn me ghost mixed drinks. played games n loser drink. horrible~ ewww. =/ so near oso sms. we decide play games. went to ntuc to buy sprite ice. i regret! went up to lao di fang, 2nd level. took turns to play. was quite happy coz nv tio. ARGH! heartless creatures! i drank lyk siao after awhile! someone was lyk so THIRSTY hor. lol. yeah i drank to my heart contents! hey keep wad happen a secret ar! pls! a secret within 4 of us! can suan me but dun sae out.. =) hate my silly-ness. stupid kk & paul still act out. grrr.. damn ma lu nor. =X bleahz. da last drop was finished by me n i am proud!

EX 2C peepx kanna kidney failure hit da headline.
stupid paul sae de. still sae i successor of rc. CHOY! went to b`stop to wait ferr 198 wib ghost while da guys went to je interchange. saw kk behind us. he suan me again. sae da word so loud. but.. yeah! got ppl pei wo sit 198 le. bored waited freakin long. boarded n tok. bout jobs. he wanna work? haha. results denn cca. reached home. rushed to da toilet straight! thank evil pals! xD

. saturday 2910`05 .
out wib sb. casual day. rotted at jec tryin hard to do physics. i WANNA complete my assgn by camp. strive on xw! walked to imm n saw a cs like guy. lol. rotted n crapped. had mc flurry. nice!! i finally return my DONATION card le! wib 2bucks by me. saw mr lim at sch de coffee shop. shucks. saw da dead ba ge[s] oso. ewww.. =/

. friday 2810`05 .
last dae of sch! i look forward most!
BREAK!
i need pure fresh air! had camp briefin. wah bring list so long. abit look forward. went up stage to get YEAH! award. n helped ms ong wib da prize presentaton. got back results. lousy man~ bOoos! i can be better de! 9th in class is so.. level is 164? gotta buck up during this holidaes. stayed back in sch. my books are damn heavy nor. struggling to carry em home. went to my usual place to kill time wib sb. talk talk again. serious stuff n crapped. bought gasy drink n play game. loser tio. damn full! had fun playin wib water in toilet. sprayed each other. got wet. rotted n went home at 5plus. saw many parents. parent meeting mah. duh. strugglin home. books are heavy! oso worried ferr one da classmate. hope nth goes wrong yar? *cross fingers* kinda destroyed my table cover. not really lahz. but drew on it.

cant rmb wad i did le. stm mah. went out wib mq to hab lunch. went imm. stayed at home rottin. chatting online n basically SLACKING lahz. xu ziqian is sweet. how sweet can he be. i love his face n him when he got jealous. ^5 sb. she oso addicted. da part where ziqian n tian yu accidentally kiss was so "funny" why? they will pretend de. but dats cute lahz. da other part is where junhao fell aslp on tianyu's back n he carried her into da room. addicted to it man~ =p

cooling off period. no matter wad i have done or vice versa, issit so hard to even start communicatin. u noe me well enuff de, dun u? cant it withstand lil storms lyk this. i told u b4, i dun wanna quarrel over such things. i admit i was wrong, lyk givin attitude. but pardon me coz i was really feelin horrible. ur lil words made a difference. comfortin words is wad i need. sms/ tag me when u tink its alright. =) i'll be waitin.

sObxx. cant go pri sch gatherin coz habin chalet. nvm. decided to plan another gatherin to marina. wheee. gotta catch up wib em. missed da bbq last time. i wanna go out wib em. u guys roX big time.

shucks~ tml is head start prog de 1st dae! *shake heads* can i eacape? it will be over soon. choir tml oso. woots. bei feng cui guo de xia tian. yupx tml oso O level chi de exams. gd luck to meiqin, shuman, shuna, jazz, 2c de buddies n choirians. jy ar! =)

it's so easy to understand me.

hoping someday`somehow`sometime
i can find one dat can read thru my mind

will this day ever come?
keeping my fingers cross bahz.

my mind is compicated?
simpicity will be good ferr me.

thanks honeydew ferr listenin to my craps.
tears juz roll down unwillingly`
i ll fine. yes, i will. =)

well back to my normal self.
so here i am blogging.
haha i am alwaes abnormal?

sian. i am addicted to sleeping le yeah? rotted on sat. totalli almost decomposed coz nv go out mah. so today din stay at home or else i ll be even rotten. haha. woke n went out wib sb. jio jazz out. coz lyk long tyme nv go out since work? went passed TS n saw them showing da wang zi bian qing wa. ziqian kissing tianyu. gosh. so charming. was totalli crazy le nor. even sb. he's juz so charming in some ways. actualli they made a perfect match too. so while waiting ferr jazz we went jec n ate OR filet meal. it was nice. n made a bet wad tyme jazz gonna come n guess wad? i WON. not only dat, i won a cookie. =)

she came n we took 197 down. *coz i using bus concession. talked loads da craps on bus. da journey was tiring. i found out dat my skin is sheddin after many daes. shucks. when reaching outram park which is AP land. sb shouted who will go AP land n AP in its long form. -o-'' dere's a AP beside her. reached n started wonderung at bugis village. so many food. tempting lehz. went walking ard n getting my COOKIES. bought garlic bread to try. =X so much garlic. wonder into da temple. see loads of ppl praying. bought 2 BUM shirts at OG.

got sian n went to parco dere. crowd is dere as usual. saw da water 'fountain' n saw kids playing dere. if we aint kids we were aldy dere. we were being kiddish lahz. walked ard n we saw da home run de xiao hei. wahh he tall lehz. taller than us i tink but his younger. went to old chang kee as jazz wanna get food. when we came up frm basement saw him again. saw cj n frenz.

suddenly got one stranger came up to me. at first tot he asking ferr directions. so din wanna bother him. he said he was a salon looking ferr models. models as in those styling hair de, not those models ferr fashion. got approached coz my hair is not short not long, not re-bonded. those he looking ferr. hesitated denn since he seem no harm so we went up since jazz n sb okay. so as we went up to da salon beside parco, he explain he no harm de. he looks ard in parco ferr ppl lyk me to help him in his 'exam' i go up to let him wash hair n denn style. he ask alot da qn bout my hair. found out dat my hair actually not bad. yeah! went to wash hair n he quite chatty bahz. din really felt wierd. he started styling after washing n drying my hair. sb n jazz lyk keep smiling down dere. he style few times b4 his 'boss' sae okay. he messed ard n came up wib a nice design lahz. got hair done foc. haha. long process of 40+ min. not realli used to da new style but still okay bahz. =) well not all hair stylists are gays, he exception bahz coz married. dere is one 'guy' who is being called sister coz he's really.. *aherm* haha.

after my hair done, went to catch train. crapped as usual n "someone'is so zi lian [not me]. alight at je n took 334 to sch dere coz sb wanna cut hair at shirley ma. saw jessica. went to buy hair jel at guardian n went home. watched da charity show. dc william tan helped oso. now i still can rmb clearly bout his story frm da leadership seminar n during da grad dae when mdm oen mention. a great person i ll nv gonna forget this lifetime. impressing part was taypinghui n alanwu trying to break da wires? not bad lahz da show. touching stories too.

well after typing so much, i am tired. gotta zzz soon. my msn finally okay le, can chat liao. yeah! =) look forward to each n every dae.

well. my mind is filled with so thoughts. feel so LOST.

. saturday 2210`05 .
dunnoe why i felt juz so sick. cant get out da bed n slept till 3plus in da noon. slacking at home. not much worries anymore. exams over.

. friday 2110`05 .
well today is totally so shag. not much lessons. enlighten by mr loh during physics lesson. i alwaes believe in him coz normalli wad he sae is true. YUPz i gonna work hard ferr physics coz i noe chem definitely cant make it. maths lesson checked 2nd semester result. so disappointing bah. why why why. damn. i wanna do as well as others. i promised i ll get L1R5 20pt. i wun wan to let myself down again. study is not ferr others but for who? myself!! yes n i ll do well.

EL C5
CL A2
AM F9
EM F9
SC C6
CH C5
F&N B3
------
L1R5: 30
L1B4: 21

kinda sad. average not even 60marks. emaths; thanks to ttl got pull down so much n no moderation. results are down so juz gotta accept? gotta change my attitude towards study. wib 21pt which course or poly i can go? forget it, i will do better. and YES i will. enough of studies. its oso graduation dae ferr our sec4s. choir sang [till we meet again] seniors saw me n sae its not too bad. but personally felt not as good. watched da ceremony. realised how close can their frenship be. touched by da videos, singing etc. hope they do well in Os. saw mrs bala n she smile n said: yes next yr is ur turn. see how time realli flies.

went out sch to get bb tea. choco ice blended. sb was lyk so crazy over it. talked bout results n stuff. took pic wib xueting xuelian n co. xueting told us to jia you. hope i can realli hang on? chill in class waiting ferr time to pass to go NP. reached NP. our sch onli 45 awardees. other sch wib 300+ over? =X sat wib ws, apple n xinee. in front was honeydew, rc n marvin. we were all so crappy? sae wad honeydew veri nice blah blah. LOL. laughing over 'CHOU' jie lun. it kinda pissed da parent behind us. we carried on since she aldy not happy. keep staring at us. -.-'' yawn who cares. da ceremony start n we r still crappin away. laugh n laugh. zzz our sch was lyk so.. nvm. thanks apple n xinee ferr da choco. b4 leaving da hall stupid r****** wanna take pic. she expect us to climb up da stage? tmd la. scold us: YOU ALL ARE SUCH EMBARASSMENT to da sch n call urselves champion 1." dunnoe who embarassed who sia. we oso nv call ourselves cham. give her face we CLIMB. n gave funny poses since she wan. =s had refreshments n waited ferr bus at front foyer. we matchmaked ppl. apple n honeydew took their wed pic. they were so pai seh. wakaka. yewming look so cute taking pic wib his son n nu er. LOL. n atiqah wendy took pic n rc said do not feed da exhibits. went home after dat.

watched wang zi bian qing wa. was crazy over XU ZI QIAN man. he's so sweet. my god. sure apple oso same. wheeeee. nice story. going ga-ga. i am hooked. online. tired. slept earli.

. thursday 2010`05 .
got so crossed. due to some bullies who kick a boi outside sch. damn it. mood totalli spoil by em. well dun use violence to solve prob` any use? !@#$%* damn.

we are going ZOO on mon. been ages i have been dere. wheeeeee. maybe thurs to ECP. wOoohoo~ was relieved to see grandpa at home as he was hospitalised da thursdae.

its gone. perhaps its never been dat in da first place. never exist. gonna be erased. GONE. painless

p.s. kinda feelimg agitated wierd n cross in some parts of my entry. well doubt anyone will read oso. forget it i m crapping away. takkaire ppl. [livestronG]

comp|ications. so many things ferr me to know n understand.
i am running away from it n avoiding at all costs.
it's gonna drain me n it's tiring.
the more i try the more tired i gonna be, ain't it if u know wad i am talking about.
sometimes just hope my mind can be read easily.

suffocating.
how to live back my own life? tell me.

well it's another boring school day. =x sch is alwaes nv interesting perhaps? lol. nowadaes go school kinda meaningless. but life needa go on.

.tuesday 1810`05.
well felt so listless n not motivated n dragged myself to sch. basically was juz slacking in sch. no power to study on. after sch went out buy bb tea & bread as lunch. had choir pract. was kinda okay bah? found dat low oso not veri cham. entertaining. =s seeing a vivid future. wanna see da powerful us again. realised my skin is redder --> stage to become chao da le bah. good at least tanning is not wasted. heng i din go LABRADOR alone. or.. [quoted frm tagboard; hy] i'm blessed kay.

.wednesday 1910`05.
got back more results. stupid assembly. watched de OPERA todae which made me go zZzzzZzz' "ni yi qian dou bu hui zhe yang de' dun realli understand or figure why or wad they fighting ferr? =x *yawns* go thru O level de security measure. n sec3 de extension. hopefully dun need go. but.. wonder if i am prepared fer sec 4? haiz. life's so tough. n now class fav topic is who gonna retain? -_-'' had lunch outside. we had chicken rice. nice.

went back sch. we were playing "scissors paper stone denn" .... " mickey mouse ar mickey mouse` donald duck ar donald duck" realised we quite retard. pro is da banana. fun~went ferr choir. had practice to polish up da song. oso passed duck amaths paper. *cross fingers* friday it ll be okay. tink we ll sing till cry. haiz. seriously cant realli bear to part them esp da choir seniors. da laughter n joys we shared playing n singing together. hopefully can hold back da tears till after singing bah? ooh yeah fri goin NP ferr dunnoe wad YEAH prize ceremony. low got zi lian. look at mirror make hair denn smile smile at me. =X

to those; do not be too upset kay. there's a reason why behind. think positive. =) really hope to see more improvements. esp da juniors. all really rely on u guys le. do come ferr practices scheduled. everyone is an impt element dat makes up fuhua choir. =]

reached home n watched wang zi bian qing wa. so crazy in xu zi qian. he was cute. "ni di ban na men zhang, ni bu hui yao wo shui ba.." his pact wib tian yu. lol. so nice i goin ga-ga.. they do make a perfect match? tired now, gonna zzz. look forward to da graduation dae. =) next yr will be our sec3's turn to sit dere le. time flies, agree wib phor. LOL. i make a deal wib sb dat after we grad, we ll go watch choir de syf. hopefully it will be promising?

.results E.Y.E 2005.
+most satisfied is chinese bah, my only A1.
+='( maths was horrible ferr a/emaths.
+eng was lucky to pass most section.
+combined humanities 6/7 marks are added across da sec3 level. so lucky again i got 50 denn.
+f&n was disaster. -_-'' dun compared us wib others. but overall can pass bah.
+sci juz manage a PASS. it's okay, no point being despair.
*conclusion* how to take O next yr.


dun feel real` i wun probe too much more.
it's tiring` dun wanna feel this way again
it's killing me` nv read beyond one's mind

`a change

abandoned my previous blog n had this instead. time for a change.

. sunday 1610`05.
had fun. thanks to 4 peepx. a nice trip to sentosa. oOps i mean labrador park nearby. became a cooked lobster. reddish now. hope i wun shed skin? met early at 7.30am at je. took 97 to habour front. basically we were the noisest ppl on board. ate at the food centre. me & sb had fried carrot cake. used chopsticks. coz no other utensils available. having hard time to eat. da guys having roti prata. rc had a unique way of eating; used da fork n treat da prata as spaghetti. -_-'' paul being nice let me have his fork n he took my chopsticks. easier to eat. they bent da forks into wierd shapes. forgot who mention this; issit rc? he said now we are lyk 2c de past. morning hassan n yongseng will set traps at da doors while da guys will debate. missed those daes.

bought 1.5l bottle n took 408. guys fished n we went to a corner facing da sea n chit-chat. had realli a nice talk. sea breeze. saw a lil gurl, so cute. still waved goodbye n muackxx us. so sweet err? so paul sms us n asked us to go back coz kanna sunburn easily. denn we ll return in black. ta taa his words came true. order lunch at 12plus. mac din noe where da park was. tried canadian pizza n okay. waited n waited. finally came. quite costly 37+ bucks. started pouring n we all lyk refugees hide in da shelter. thanks rc ferr his umbrella. kk was nice to shelter us. shivering so hard. all 5 of us tried to squeeze. da pizza was nice. =) soon da rain got bigger. we all ran to da nearest shelter. all da us got wet. we took pics oso. to rmb how pathetic we looked being drenched. rc had zi lian zheng. y? coz his hair spike n he started going crazy. da guys were kind enough to have da umbrella.

boarded bus back to je. as usual, we were da trumpet of da bus. played lame games. wad ma tong. toilet bowl. laughed lyk mad peepx. went jec to rot. had da no. game. used our hp to play instead. much more fun. ke lian de rc had to finish 1/2 of 1.5l sprite himsef. he was bloated. almost over-hydration. evil of `em not to let him go toilet. da lucky peepx who keep tio are kk n rc who tries to sabo others but tio. played 007 bang bang. some of us are realli retard. hohoho~ saw yy n family. went home at 6plus..

.saturday 1510`05.
s great dae too. went chinese garden wib sb & mq. crapped so much. thinking back on those days. walked serveral kilometres. went to sci centre. played ard da outside. went to take a lame ride. -.- waste 4bucks. not scary at all. cant help bu keep laughing. xD walked to je had choco ice kachang n glass jelly. went home at 6plus.

went super crazy at 11plus at nite. u used it. i'm so shocked. haha.

.monday 1710`05.
had choir todae. well attendance was lyk.. but really appreciated those who came. felt better after listening to wad ms lim had to sae. no one can help if u dun help urself. giving excuses is juz to escape? well might as well quit when u show 0% interest. bwg. gonna have dae camp on 21-23nov. tmr gotta sectionals. hope everything gets better. =)

feel super duper pain now. sunburnt. =s horrible feeling.

was in dazed when u looked at me dat way.
ur hands e touch` the way u lookl.
it feels so familiar` is it real
or is it a dream confused